I hope you liked your bright and sunny yellow roses I brought to you today, I know if you saw the packaging you would be turning in your grave.’ M&S?’ I imagine you saying, ‘Do you think this is Butlins?’ But don’t you worry dad I learned my penny scrimping ways from you, they were half price in the sale.
I very rarely buy clothes full price thanks to you, I got a jacket for £2 the other day, Bargain! Shame I did not think the same when you were here, maybe we could have saved some money on that black denim/plait skirt and jacket combo I remember begging for from the catalogue. Day old cakes from the bakers were our weekly delights, I could have anything I wanted and it is probably why I have such a sweet tooth now.
I read a lot thanks to our regular library outings and I am one of the few people I know who stills borrows books from the library. I wonder how you would have felt about a kindle? Would you have adapted to the modern ways and enjoyed the ability to have hundreds of books ready to read anywhere or would you be like me and still enjoy browsing libraries and the feel of the paper in your hands. One of our libraries still looks the same, every time I go inside I imagine you there with me and me sitting on the tiny kid seats while you choose your pile of books, you would literally get through hundreds of books. I reckon the reason we went to so many libraries is that you run out of books to read.
No one has VHS anymore, it is all DVD’s. Children are using computers and mobile phones as soon as they are able. Modern technology is now a part of everyday life. You can find anything and anyone online now. I wonder how you would feel about it all? Would you be converted to online betting or still venturing out to the betting shop to watch your race.
As time passes I struggle to cling on to the memories, things get forgotten and lost over time. I have no keepsake of you,I wish I did but I was too young to think about these things when you left. A fortune teller told me once I need to find your watch and I am always hoping it turns up one day.
The memories that remain strong are of you playing dominoes and letting me win. You doing the ironing whilst singing ‘yellow polka dot bikini’ and that you accepted my childhood nonsense even when you could not answer the door because Sharon and I had tied yards of wool all around the house. I hope they remain as vivid in my mind forever as they are today. I wish our time together could have lasted longer, but it was not to be.
How would you feel about us all now? I think of you during family gatherings, they don’t happen often but when they do all our different personalities and lives are very evident to this day. Would you be proud of all our individual achievements and what part of our lives would you moan about and try to get us to change? As a family we have remained close and I know you would be overjoyed to know this. I am sure you are up there watching us from above commenting on everything.
I hope you would be content with the woman I have grown into and the life that I am living. Thank you for all the times you have been there to guide me from evil and comfort me in my time of need. I shall always think of you as the angel on my shoulder and hope you will remain there forever to guide me.
Happy Fathers Day.
Lots of Love
Your Mona xx