one of the flower displays (i needed help with this one)
one of the flower displays (i needed help with this one)

It only ever happened when drinking alcohol and mostly whilst overseas. Often I would have no recollection of the incident until looking in my handbag and seeing the evidence.  Over the years I have acquired the below list of items, some of which I still own to this day;

  • ashtrays
  • candleholders
  • ,glasses (from shot to pint and everything else in between)
  • mugs
  • cutlery
  • sugar and salt containers (often full!)
  • a variety of cocktail mixer sticks (particularly those with the bar name on them)
  • interesting bar menus
  • a large array of balloons (so many on one occasion I thought I might actually take off!)
  • giant flower displays (as pictured)
  • plastic chairs ( coca cola ones)
  • numerous traffic cones in varying sizes
  • bricks (I have no idea why or how I managed to carry them?)
  • a lillo
  • ‘men at work’ road signs
  • election banners and signs
  • a shopping trolley (with a man inside!)
  • a purple tie
  • a huge pile of Ferrero Rocher (to make a triangle obviously!)
  • multiple gift bags from events
  • a judges gavel
  • books
  • magazines
  • reserved signs
  • a bottle of bubbly
  • a collection of bongo drums
the drum
the drum

Some of you may have been my partners in crime or bore witness to such event, you may even remember other items not listed above.

I now no longer partake in helping myself to things, no matter how easy it would be to run off with them but the temptation still exists.  I am rather embarrassed and ashamed to think back on my former Kleptomania and I am sorry to anyone who was at the receiving end of my misadventures. I hope I did not cause too much trouble and that it helps a little to know that these items where the subject of much hilarity and ongoing entertainment, as well as the ending to a very good night.

I promise to keep the urge at bay and grow out of these childish ways.