Relax, your on holiday!
Relax, your on holiday!

This summer I shall not be flying off to some holiday resort but have decided to give Scotland a try. I have therefore compiled a list of the most annoying guests. (seeing as I shall not be dealing with them this year.)

The misery guts -You learn to spot them straight away at the airport and you know they will be trouble all week. You  know as soon as they arrive at the hotel they will call you with a list of complaints.

The know it all – These guests have been coming to the same resort every year for ten years. They may come to your welcome meeting, but only to correct you or they will ignore you all week and tell all other tourists who will listen what they have learned over the years. I am no mathematician but I do know that a holiday of seven nights for ten years is a grand total of seventy nights here, a rep will be in the same resort on average six to seven months and will likely not live in a hotel but with the locals. (just saying!)

The review checker– Tripadvisor and similair sites are the cause of many an unhappy guest.  If you can’t handle the inevitable bad review, do not read them. (People like to moan, perfect hotels have bad reviews it is unavoidable!)

We normally travel to Spain– The guests that decide to go out of their comfort zone and expect the same standards and culture. I remember years ago in Greece one guest was astounded that there was not a dishwasher or a washing machine in the basic famil run apartments. Please do your research first and you will save us all a lot of work and tears!

 We have friends here – The tourist that returns because they have made friends over the years with some of the locals. This may very well be the case for some, but is this friend the owner of a restaurant, a taxi driver or a shop owner who knows you will spend quite a lot of your holiday money with them?

Scared of reps – these guests have probably been on the receiving end of either a crazy sales rep or an unhelpful rep and they assume we are all the same. They will either talk to you like you are stupid, often assume you are much younger and inexperienced than you are or will literally run away to avoid talking to you.

It is my day off..please stop calling me!!
It is my day off..please stop calling me!!

Serial Complainer- These guests  aim is to find something to complain about so they can get another holiday for free, they will complain about the resort, hotel, staff, food, pool and of course the room, they will send in photos too. They will not talk to you at all but you will see them again later in the season, probably in the same hotel.

Compensation Claimers  – A step up from the serial complainer these guests want big money. They will hunt down the dodgy shower, loose tile by the pool or anything that they can fall over in order to sue the company. Again they will probably not let you know that anything is happened or go to a doctors but they will again try to get lots of money on the return to the UK.

Creepy Man – Now I am all for solo travel, I often go on holidays alone but there is always that creepy man who likes to get a bit over friendly with the rep. I remember one in particular who asked me to rub oil on his back and also knocked on my door late at night to ask where to get a good steak?!

First time out of Europe – You can spot the fear in their eyes when they come out of the airport. Don’t go to India and expect everything to be clean and for you not to see poverty everywhere. Do your research and if you can’t handle it don’t go..simple.

The English Breakfasters – These people get everywhere and each time I am still shocked to meet them. Do you really not want to try the local fresh cuisine but would rather eat imported crap?? Don’t like spicy food or curry (don’t go to India!). Asking me if there is a Yates bar around?(maybe just go to Blackpool next year!)

Non-Emergency Callers – No matter how clear you try to make it on the name of the 24hr hotline you will still get the calls at 3am for an extra pillow or if someone has lost the room key. These are also the guests who will have a major issue that takes all day to resolve…on your day off!!

I could quite literally go on forever on this subject but please do comment if I have missed out any important ones!